Ten Things Only Shift Workers Understand
Shift workers live hectic lives. Their days are sometimes nights, their nights are sometimes days, and they must adapt in order to function. But with this shift work comes a certain type of understanding, an understanding that escapes people who work traditional hours.
There are many things you know that 9-5ers don’t. Here are 10 of them:
3 p.m. is the middle of the night
3 p.m. is time for sleep. The people who have the audacity to spend their afternoons awake, talking and laughing are super, super rude.
The grocery stores have no lines at dawn
Dawn is perfect for grocery shopping. There are no lines and no wayward carts hitting you in the ankles. Sometimes there are no cashiers, either. You’ll have to wait until they finish taking inventory.
No one wants to go out at 12am
Your friend is sound asleep instead of waiting for your call. It’s time to get a new one. Someone that’s nocturnal. A hamster might suffice.
There’s no such thing as TGIF
Everyone is excited that it’s Friday, but you’re not. Friday is just another day of the week. TGIF? That’s DOA.
Bologna tastes the same at 6am
There’s nothing weird about eating a bologna sandwich on your lunch break at 6:00 in the morning. It’ll hold you over until you feast on rack of lamb at noon.
Leftover birthday cake is delicious
When birthday cake is days old, it’s still delicious. You know this because all the birthday cake you eat is left over. The last birthday party you physically attended was back in 1989. Skate City forever!
Facebook isn’t fun
Your annoying sister keeps posting pictures of herself partying with her friends. Your Facebook profile is mainly just videos of your chinchilla eating yet another strawberry. Chinchillas, like hamsters, are nocturnal and ready to party.
You live on coffee
Caffeine has transformed from a perk into a full-blown necessity. Blood no longer flows through your veins. It’s been replaced by Starbucks.
Your spouse is the cutest sleeper
Your spouse is just adorable when they’re curled up under the covers. Every time you see them, they’re sound asleep…just like the rest of the world. So, you pull up a chair and watch them. It’s not creepy if they don’t know about it.
Curtains only go so far
Even good curtains, the ones that are supposed to block out all light, don’t work entirely. The sun is arrogant and will shine whenever it wants. It’s like the world revolves around it.
There are some things dayworkers will never understand. The biggest one of all? What it truly feels like to be tired.
Help your shift workers survive their schedules by adopting a take my shift attendance policy. And don’t forget to sign up for our mailing list. We’ll provide ideas that keep your employees satisfied.